I never thought I would ever wake up a morning in London feeling the need to get out of here because its too HOT. Woke up 9 am sunday from the sunshine heating up my room way to warm, so we decided to take the train down to Brighton for a day on the beach!
I miss sitting alone on a cold airport floor with hundreds of different feelings racing between my heart and my brain. I miss the combination of loss and excitement, leaving one place for another. I miss it with hate, and I miss how it made me wish my life was more settle, but knowing the settledness makes me want those painful hundred feelings and a cold floor made out of stone back in a heartbeat.
I miss finding a last, sloppy written, godbye message in my moleskin, and I miss the tear that messed up the ink. I miss a random stranger asking me if I’m okay, handing over a napkin, I miss it with love, and I miss pretending the goodbyes were just temporary, like the day after was going to be like the day before, but knowing those goodbye wasn’t, makes me want to go back and hold on to them for just a little bit longer.
Randomly got a fever, freezing my ass off last night after coming home from dinner. Finally fell as sleep under a massive pile of duvet and blankets but woke up with tears streaming out of my eyes from an “attack”(lol) of massive back pain, such a scary feeling, my body felt completely twisted in some weird way and I had no strength at all. What I did have tho, was perfect company, taking the best care of me, and on top of that I got a Love letter and a cheering up song.. So although pain, life isn’t that bad, is it?
I’m back in bed, sick again and I hate it. I also hate when people I love is going through a hard time, especially when they’re on the other side of the world and I can’t do anything to help. Wish badly I could be there. Feel so helpless over here not really knowing what’s going on. Love <3
It is not time to leave, although I wish that was how I felt. The only thing that makes me wanna leave is the thought of being with you. Stand in the cold wind on a ferry, alone, breath the wind, smell it and taste it.
Never thought I would miss the cold, but I guess I just need an excuse to put on all the cozy clothes I have, an excuse to crawl up in your couch and stay there, you do have a couch right?
I am sorry I couldn’t do us earlier, sometime you need time, time for heeling and time to except changes. Now, there is no place I rather be at, I want to be there for you, I want to be honest with you. I want to be twoness.
Today I bought golden heels. They are pretty impossible to walk in kuz the heel is super thin. But I don’t care.
This week I’ve been down at Hyper Island for Graduation. Presented my Final project which went really well. Great to hang out with everyone again (although some peps I missed like crazy). Tons of Party, laughs and love. And the day of graduation was just perfect with Champaign, speeches and a boat ride. Just so sad to say good bye to everyone afterwards. Always in my heart DM09KNA :D.