Had a dream last night, that brought me back in time
Woke up early this morning bringing me now
I went for a swim to chase the future
I believed I showered off the past
Embraced the now
Moisturized my body with the future
But all through,
In my head was a song of what’s been,
on repeat and on max
A while back i had the most fucked up dream;
I was in this huge house with most of my Swedish friends, and all of them got murder, I was the only one left. So I’m reaching for the phone, dialing 911, but in the other end of the line is this automatic voice thing asking me what happened.. for murder press 1, for fire press 2 etc. So I press 1, and are given new choses, how many people were murder, for one person press 1, for two people press 2 and soo on.. I got so fucking frustrated since I had like 25 bodies lying around me. When I finally got through to speak to a real person all the dead bodies are gone and everyone is alive again. I think this dream had to do with me having to call At&t to many times which totally pissed me off since they couldn’t understand my accent and it always ended with them letting me know that they couldn’t understand me, and BYE.
So last night I had a similar dream;
Trevin and I was dealing drugs and when we went to pick up money or something all these people pulled their guns at us. Everyone got killed and Trevin was shot really bad, I tried to stop the bleeding out of his head and belly and at the same time dialing 911, but again this automatic voice thing tells me it’s a weekend and that I have to call back a regular weekday. WTF? So I caught a Police car driving by who helps me to get this private doctor who takes us to his house, locks Trevin into a room to fix him, while I’m freaking out wanting a real doctor once again trying to call 911 but my call keeps getting transferred to 311, which is a San Francisco tourist Service type a thing, which obviously can’t help me.
I have no idea what these dreams means but what I do know is that if I end up having to call 911, I will be so fucking scared.
..Living the dream
Can honestly say that how I feel now, over all, is the best I’ve feelt in years, probably since I was a kid. I like almost everything about my life.. and even if its not perfect I’m still smiling on the inside, singing while walking down the streets, and the most surprising part; I can spend time alone without even feeling a little bit lonely. Spend my days doing design, shopping, partying, meeting tons of great people and enjoying the Sunshine and beautiful San Francisco, that is what’s makes me live, its just easy and hell nice. A life I’m sure I don’t want to give up. Please let me keep it for just a little bit longer.. Just a couple of year or so:p.
..Dreaming the pain
Although everything is pretty damn good, I’m still having my nightmares, waking up in pain. All these feelings are really eating me from the inside, I’m trying to not be effected by them but it’s hard. I just keep wondering what they’re trying to tell me.
Afterwards I went for some grocery shopping at Safeway, mostly I eat out or just make something simple that I bought in the corner store, but it so expensive there so it’s cheaper to buy take away, which is unhealthy and noooot good!!
Anyway, It’s not everyday I have the energy to go shopping, But today I felt like it, after that I cooked some food and did a couple of lunch boxes for work. Then I went down to the gym for some workout. Now I’m tired and gonna watch the first episode of the new season of Grey’s Anatomy, been waiting so long for e new season. So, I gonna watch it and I gonna cry, that’s whats I always do, and trust me, I mean CRY, not just a tear, nope. I’m crying and then I got a emotional rush, thinking of all the sad things I can possible think of in the whole world. Don’t ask, it’s just the way it it! After all it’s been a good day, and I feel good about being productive.
Oh just remember, had a bad dream last night, I got a brain tumor or something like that and only had one week left to live.. that’s super scary, but the strangest thing about it, is that I wasn’t that sad, I was totally calm.