Blog of Emelie Ivansson

Been quite busy lately, working on a few projects, and I figured it was time to present my latest accomplishments. Photographer Micheal Sugrue contacted me in December, with the brief to design and develop his new blog, showcasing a various range of content divided into categories. The design is based on his existing Portfolio site. The task required a bit more advanced Wordpress coding than I’ve been doing in the past, so it was a very interesting project that I learn a lot from. As a complement to the blog I also created an html email Newsletter that’s going to be sent out to Michael’s clients, partners, etc.

On the note, I had a great time last night, meeting up with Michael for drinks, it’s funny kuz i’ve been doing some freelance work for him, but we’d never actually met. Since he was in London for work this week, he proposed to meet up. It was really nice and we had a bunch of interesting conversations. I Love meeting new inspiring people, and honestly, that doesn’t happen as often here in London as it did in back in SF. Made me miss SF, and Americans.

Definitely not this happy tho, got a call from my Mum today, and it scared the shit out of me since I rarely get calls from Sweden. Last time I got a call was when I was in San Francisco and my sister was in a car accident back home. so naturally my heart stopped and in a heartbeat my brain came up with about twenty possible terrible scenarios. Luckely she just called to see if I was okay, since I’ve been sick for a while and my internet sucks so I haven’t been on Skype that much.  Anyhow, this picture reminded me that Jacob (who took it) is coming to visit me from SF soon, which is gonna be tons of fun!! <3

If someone would take one of those two organs from you, what would you chose to keep? And how would you feel about that death of yours when it happens? Obviously you would not survive with only one of them. But living with both, is it possible to put one of them on pause for a while?

I’ve always made decisions based on my heart and my gut feeling, and to review the outcome I think I mostly made the right ones. But lately, this belief became a bit blurry, like someone added too much Gaussian blur on a, at least pretty sharp, picture in photoshop. I decided to go with my brain on a very important choice, I figured it was best to let it has its say for a change, now I’ve realized, the reason might been the fact that, at the time, my heart was too shivered and without the strength to stand up for my believe.

The consequences, and the return of an at least fairly repaired heart, recently made me aware of my actions, only to again find myself in the same dilemma. I know I did the right thing and I know I did the wrong thing. But what now?

I have the smartest and most amazing friends advising me, giving me their point of view. Everyone has their own story to tell, and I guess I have to tell mine, even if I can’t speak the language, I need to figure it out on my own. God, it’s interesting how we human works, how we think and how we act. I’m surprised by myself but at the same time I’m not. I thought I had a strong belief but today I’m lost, and I probably going to be for quite sometime, but maybe thats the reason? To find myself lost. I will give this one time, I’m not a patient person, but I will give it time.

Last year I went to see Caroline 3D on the Imax Cinema in SF, turned out to be a very sad visit. Basically, I was unable to see any of the 3D (and yes I wore the glasses, and tried a couple of different ones as well), the movie sucked, obviously, and left me a bit confused. This story came up a few days ago discussing the new Avatar movie at work, (and No, I’m not planing to watch it). Anyway, I got sent a Wikipedia link by a friend about something called Stereo-blindness, which apparently is the word for the inability to see 3D. I really thought it was just me being weird or having a bad day, I didn’t know it had a name. Awesome, I’m disable! Ugh, a lot of movies is going to be in 3D now, especially with the Avatar movie and its new technology and all. This made me very sad, the future is here and I’m not invited.

Luckily for me, a friend of mine enlighten me that I can probably use the handicap toilet now, and park in their parking-lots, he meant, I might cause an accident trying to walk from a far distant parking-lot in my 2D world.

In a brainstorm session today I found myself drawing this picture, I assume I have some sort of feelings to get out regarding my recent self-discovery, this might be my way of processing. Is all my art gonna look like this now? Maybe.. At least now I have a reason for suck on drawing perspective, and a reason not to ware the ugly 3D Ray Ban glasses.

I’m back in bed, sick again and I hate it. I also hate when people I love is going through a hard time, especially when they’re on the other side of the world and I can’t do anything to help. Wish badly I could be there. Feel so helpless over here not really knowing what’s going on. Love <3

Finally got my inspiration back, inspiration to create something else than the commissioned design I’ve been forcing myself to bust out the last few months.

Since I left San Francisco last September I haven’t been able to put any emotions onto my photoshop canvas. Usually my inspiration comes with anger, frustration, sadness, loss or happiness(!), but this time it didn’t, I think it was to painful to let it out that I kept it inside me and did everything to ignore the feelings. That’s not the right way to go though, I need my time to process, I need my time with photoshop to get it out of me, and to be able to move on. Well, it still hurts, but I guess this means I can see a small glimpse of light after all.

I’m excited over my new ideas, excited to have my excitement back, the feeling I remember from back at Hyper, when it was too hard to fall a sleep at night because I couldn’t wait to start working the day after. When after an hour trying, I got up and went to school, rather spending an all-nighter playing in photoshop in a scary old prison than sleeping comfi in my warm an cosy bed.

I don’t have time for Mind-fuck.

On my Yester-year/2009 post, the post about goodbyes, my dear friend Bobby pointed out that we do need goodbyes in our life as well as Hello’s, otherwise it would be too crowded with people. This and the annual trip down memory lane (which happens every christmas, seeing old friends again) made me think. I want to believe that he’s wrong, that we can’t get enough people in our life. But after some reflections I do think that he’s right - We are meant to move on, meet new people and leave others behind, to evolve as persons, gain knowledge, grow and get the most out of live. Thinking you have what “you need” when it comes to your social life, might make you stop trying to meet new faces. This especially when you lived in the same place for a while, you stick to the same friends, the same part of town, do the same things, and obviously you miss out.

Last night I had a dream about an old friend that I haven’t seen in years. It made me feel a bit sad - How we all move on, without really looking back and without putting an effort into maintaining at least some kind of contact with people that at some point, was very important to us. Then, today, I got a very unexpected and sweet mail, by a friend from school, that I haven’t seen in about 5 years. And that says a lot, it’s not that hard, nor complicated. For some reason he got to think about me, and he sent me an email to let me know. It’s as simple as clicking the Send Button.

So my conclusion is; moving on, saying goodbye, is the most natural thing in life, and the word goodbye is invented for a reason, but at the end of the day, it really doesn’t hurt to sometime just write a line, and let your old and far away friends know that you actually haven’t forgotten all about them.

The cold in London is almost Swedish right now, and even if I rather spent all day under my duvet, I’d decide to take a inspirational field trip down Camden Market. In need of creative ideas for my latest freelance gig as well as warm socks, and I found both. Now back to my comfi workstation (my bed) for another weekend of work.

Found some pics from the Popjunkies Photo shoot in San Francisco last August, promised to blog about that, but for some reason it completely slipped my mind, or might just be the fact that I’m not very happy with the shots of me.